Desperate Virgins (TV 2007)
Documentary following three people over the age of 25 who are determined to lose their virginity.
Losing your virginity is one of the most talked about, agonised-over rites of passage. People worry about when it’ll happen and what it will be like. It can be embarrassing, frightening, exciting and can, ultimately, be liberating. Whatever it’s like, the first time is never forgotten.
Desperate Virgins is a touching intimate investigation into the lives of three very different people who have yet to experience one of life’s most important rites of passage: having sex for the first time. Catherine is a Christian who at 43 has made the decision to give up her chastity to a much younger male escort; Mike (29) has never got off the starting blocks when it comes to the opposite sex and chooses to learn the ropes from a dating and chat-up expert to help boost his self confidence; Alan (49) is partially disabled from a teenage illness and is worried he may die a virgin. He enlists the help of an escort who specializes in middle-aged virgins.
The film follows the three virgins and their very different journeys as they deal, in very different ways, with this most personal rite of passage. Desperate Virgins follows their pressure, expectations and emotional journeys as they get that one step closer to losing their virginity.
Director: Gillian Pachter
Official Sites: Channel 4 [UK]
Release Date: 21 May 2007 (UK)
Category: Documentary Film
What is Virginity?
Virginity means never having had sex. People may define “sex” differently. Most people agree that women and men lose their virginity the first time they have penile-vaginal intercourse. Many people also believe that people can lose their virginity through oral sex, anal intercourse, or other kinds of sex.
Who’s a virgin, and who’s not?
Most people would say that a virgin is someone who’s never had sex — and by “sex,” they often mean penetration of the vagina by the penis. This dictionary definition sounds simple enough, but it leaves a whole bunch of people out of the picture.
There are a lot of straight people who don’t think of themselves as virgins because they’ve had lots of other kinds of sex, like oral sex and anal sex. And then there are all the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people who may never have penile-vaginal sex, but who hardly think of themselves as virgins.
Many people define sex in broader terms. For some, “sex” means vaginal, oral, or anal sex, while for others, it could mean mutual masturbation, manual stimulation (“hand job”), dry humping, or using sex toys to penetrate the vagina or anus. Lots of people feel that they “lose it” the first time they share an intimate sexual experience with someone else — not simply the first time penetration happens.
Some also believe that people have to give consent to lose their virginity — that virgins who are raped, for example, do not lose their virginity.
How Guys Feel About Sex with Virgins
What are your thoughts about having sex with virgins? Would you have sex with a virgin at your current age, assuming you were single? If yes, how and when would you like to be told that someone you were dating was a virgin? And how have your sexual encounters with virgins (when you weren’t one yourself) differed — if at all — from sex with more experienced partners?” Below are some guys answer.
Whatever she wants
I’ve only ever lost my virginity, never taken it from someone. However, if I was dating a virgin, I’m not sure it would be all that big a deal. I’d probably treat it like everything else when it comes to sex: whatever she wants, whenever she’s comfortable, and whenever she’s ready. However, if she was one of those people “waiting for the right person” and still about my age, I’m terrified I’d assume she’s some kind of crazy fundamentalist and break up with her — which doesn’t seem fair. Some people obviously need to wait, but I do think sex is an essential part of the relationship and declaring it has to be put off (particularly between two monogamous adults) is more detrimental than helpful.
The campsite rule
I don’t think virginity is magical! I mean — I guess it is true that I wouldn’t have casual sex with a virgin, but then, I don’t think I’d really have casual sex, anyhow. I don’t ascribe to some notion of purity or innocence coming along with virginity, but you do have to take into account emotions and history — if you have sex with a virgin, you’re going to be part of their person’s life story. Not necessarily, but it is likely. I know Dan Savage is controversial, but his “campsite” rule comes into play, I think — don’t leave a mess behind, try to make the person better than when you first met. That being said, I guess I’d want to be told, you know, around the time that it became germane to the discussion — when the possibility of hooking up started to develop.
A serious relationship
I’m 28, and I’ve had sex with virgins twice in my life. Having sex with a virgin at this point in my sexual career would be pretty weird, I won’t lie. Either she’d have to be a little too young for it to be okay (I’m not sure I’d want to be sleeping with a 19- or 20-year-old) or there’d have to be some other unusual reason for why she’d gotten started so late. I wouldn’t rule it out; I just wouldn’t expect to encounter it.
Both times I slept with a virgin; it was in the context of a serious relationship. I really wouldn’t do it any other way; otherwise you’d just be asking for trouble. And even if you weren’t, it’s rewarding to be someone’s first — especially if you don’t fuck it up by rushing things.
To my knowledge the only time I’ve ever had sex with a virgin, was the first time I had sex. That is unless you count the millions of times I had sex by myself before that.
If I were single I’d probably have sex with a virgin. But only if we were dating. I’d be really uncomfortable being their first if we had met at a bar or something. Even in the dating situation, if they were roughly my age, I’d be a little concerned about why they were still a virgin. But I suspect I’d get over it.
Everyone has a first time. But when you’re on the “giving” side of it (which I never have been), I’d imagine there a few things to consider or be paranoid or anxious about, more prominently, “What if I’m the last guy she fucks?” That feels already like a weirdly heavy dose of responsibility. But what’s to stop people from doin’ it? Provided they are of appropriate age and get along well and all that. I wouldn’t want to find out my partner is a virgin right out the gate. (“Nice to meet you.” “You too. I’m a virgin.” “… OK.”) “Whenever she’s comfortable telling me” would be the best answer, unless it’s right before sex, which is when I’d feel responsible asking “So you’re sure about all this?” at the precise moment she absolutely does not want to have that talk.
“A clusterfuck of lolarity”
Aside from my first time with my first boyfriend (which was a clusterfuck of lolarity), I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with a virgin. I don’t know how I’d feel about sleeping with one today. I suppose I’d feel a little safer from STDs (which was a huge concern for me when I embarked upon my extraordinarily brief and altogether unremarkable period of hoing around on Grindr — if your online hook-up profile says “anything goes,” you can just go straight out the door, thanks very much), but I try to practice responsible sexual behavior anyway, so I don’t know how much that would matter. Now, if you asked whether I’d want to be somebody’s first boyfriend, somebody also in his late 20s, that’s something else entirely. I want somebody who’s had some practice at the whole mature relationship thing. Being a virgin isn’t necessarily indicative of a lack of such experience, but I won’t deny that in my head, there’s probably a statistically significant correlation between the two. And while I would never say that I’d demand sex, well, if a guy expects to be in a long-term, sexless relationship with me, that’s also going to be a problem. Sex isn’t everything, and I’m not Dan Savage, advocating cheating/going around behind your partner’s back if somebody has sexual performance issues. But if the communication between us is good, and if a guy is willing to work with me on our sexual compatibility, then I can’t say as that I’d automatically say no to a virgin.
“Err on the side of caution”
I would have no aversion to having sex with a virgin at my current age (24). On my end of things, it doesn’t bother me. Hey, you’re a virgin? That’s cool.
I would, however, hold a much greater degree of concern for the other party. I’ve never been in a situation where I came close to having sex with a virgin, but if I were, I would ensure (probably doubly and triply so) that she was absolutely certain she wanted to do it. This isn’t due to a poor self image or anything along those lines, but rather I wouldn’t want the other person to feel, after the fact, like they gave up their virginity at the wrong time/to the wrong person/under the wrong circumstances, etc. I fully realize that some people don’t give damn about saving their first time for someone special or significant, but there are many people that do, so I would err on the side of caution unless specifically told otherwise.
This tends to go along with the above, but if alcohol were involved, I’d have to give the situation some careful thought. Sure if a girl is mildly buzzed and she wants to knock boots for the first time, no big deal. But if she’s having trouble walking straight and is loudly proclaiming, “We should have sex, I want you to be my first!” No matter how inebriated I am, I would avoid doing the deed until under more sober circumstances. (That’s a bit of an exaggeration as I wouldn’t have sex with a girl walking S’s)
Now, if I were putting the moves on someone and they turned out to be a virgin, I would hope that they would be honest about the situation. Obviously, I don’t mean, “Hi, I’m Lucille, I’m a virgin, nice to meet you.” I mean if things are progressing towards sex a simple, “Oh by the way, I’m a virgin,” would be greatly appreciated. Again, not because it bothers me, but just because I would want to afford the situation the care it calls for. If a girl is a virgin, I’m going to be a bit more gentle than I normally would (not to say I normally go all porn star, but you know what I mean). It’s tough to try and peg down a precise time when I should know whether or not someone is a virgin, other than to vaguely say at or before the time one of the parties involved is ready to have sex.
Sex Tips for Virgins on Their Prom Date or Wedding Night
If you’ll be a virgin when you get married, you’re probably feeling some apprehension about what will happen on your wedding night. Here are tips and advice to help things go smoothly.
Will it hurt the first time I have sex?
Some women experience pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse. They may have so much hymenal tissue that stretching it open during first intercourse may cause pain and bleeding. Women with a lot of hymenal tissue can prepare for first intercourse by slowly stretching the tissue with their fingers.
Guys do not have hymens, so this is not an issue. Sex should not be painful for them unless something is wrong. For guys, pain during sex can be caused by an infection, an allergic reaction to spermicide or latex, by a physical condition such as having a foreskin that is too tight, or by an irritation from previous sexual or non-sexual activities. If a guy is experiencing pain during sex, it’s a good idea to make an appointment with a clinician to check it out.
How to Communicate Before the Wedding Night
Pick a quiet moment to ask your soon-to-be-spouse “are you feeling nervous at all about our wedding night?” Odds are, he or she will be relieved to have the opportunity to talk about it. Talk about what your hopes and fears are. If your partner has sexual experience or you want to prevent pregnancy, talking about safer sex is essential. You may want to visit a counselor, or talk about sex during your pre-wedding counseling. If you are too nervous to bring up the subject of sex, consider leaving a magazine open, or even forwarding this article in an email.
How to Communicate During Sex
The most important sex tip for being a great lover is to learn how to communicate in bed. For nervous first timers, it might seem more natural to stay silent; dirty talk can be intimidating. Try saying, “That feels good” or just moaning a little when you like something. Be observant of your partner as well – if they’re quiet and still, you might want to try something different. You can ask, “Does that feel good?” or “Can I try…” Most importantly, speak up when something doesn’t feel good. Sex can and should give both of you pleasure.
Will She Bleed? Will it be Painful?
When a woman loses her virginity, it is possible for it to be a little bloody or painful. However, it shouldn’t last for too long, and it is almost never very serious. To make things easier, make sure there’s plenty of foreplay before you try penetration. You’ll also want to have a good lubricant. I recommend a brand called “Slippery Stuff” because it is safe to use with latex, and it’s glycerin-free. (Glycerin can cause yeast infections.) Even if you use a lubricated condom, you’ll want to use extra lube. And, if you’re afraid of bleeding on the hotel sheets, bring a towel with you, or your own sheets.
Will He Be Able to Maintain an Erection? What Happens If He Can’t?
The pressure of the wedding night can be too much for many men. If things aren’t “working,” try to change up the mood. Spend some time kissing, and fondling each other. Perhaps make a game out of how many different body parts you can kiss, or be a little more serious by talking about the wedding, your love for each other, and milestones ahead of you. Most importantly remember that sex isn’t just about penetration. There are lots of ways to make each other feel good that don’t require an erection.
Will I Be Any Good? How Can I Wow My New Husband or Wife?
Sex, like most things, takes practice. You are likely to be a little clumsy and to feel a little goofy. Take things slowly, and try to listen to your partner. Find out what feels good, and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to ask! But don’t concentrate on how mind-blowing (or not!) the physical feelings are. Instead try to be gentle with one another, and focus on how amazing it is to finally be in each other’s arms as a married couple.
Confidence is sexy, so think about ways to make yourself feel as confident and beautiful as possible. That might mean buying some pretty wedding night lingerie, using low and flattering candlelight, or doing some extra bridal beauty pampering.. But more than anything, remind yourself that your new spouse already thinks you are gorgeous!
It is possible to get pregnant the first time you have sex. Condoms have one of the highest failure rates among the most common methods of birth control. So if possible, use another form of birth control along with a condom.
If you take birth control pills and are taking other medications such as a antibiotic, this can alter the effects of your birth control. You should always consult your doctor before starting any medications along with your birth control to see if there will be any negative effects.
If you are planning on losing your virginity and your partner has had sex with other people, carefully consider that sexually transmitted infections (all STDs are STIs) are a serious matter. STIs are spread through vaginal, anal, and oral intimacy. You can have an STI and never know, and pass it on to others too. You can decrease your changes of getting an STD by using condoms, dental dams, and other barrier methods. For more information, see the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website.
Watch this interesting video to learn more about enjoying sex without the unneeded responsibilities: Unsafe Sex in the City- BBC Documentary
Watch how penile swab is done and how painful to some.
Don’t give in to pressure from your partner. It’s your decision, not anyone else’s.
Don’t drink or take any kind of drug out of fear of pain. It could make it much worse.
How to Lose Your Virginity Without Pain for Girls
Losing your virginity can seem scary, and the range of myths surrounding it doesn’t help. In most cases, though, penetrative sex should not be intensely painful, even on your first time. Here’s how to mentally and physically prepare yourself.
Before Having Sex
1. Try to feel comfortable with your own sexuality. Most people fear the unknown, and it’s easy to get anxious if you don’t know what’s coming. Feeling tense and nervous will put a damper on the experience, in addition to making your vaginal muscles clenched and more prone to pain. Instead of letting anxiety take over, try to find ways to relax and become educated beforehand so you feel confident in the moment. Here are some strategies to try:
Read up! Knowing exactly what goes where, what’s normal, and what to expect can help ease a lot of your anxiety about having sex for the first time. Planned Parenthood, The American Academy of Pediatrics and Scarleteen are good places to start.
Know your body. Understanding your own anatomy can help you feel more confident, especially if your partner is also a virgin. It’s important to figure out what you enjoy, so you can communicate that to your partner and ensure that you both have a good experience. Masturbation can help with this, or you can simply resolve to be communicative while you experiment with your partner — whatever you choose, try to pay attention to how you respond to different touches.
Approach sex with a positive attitude. When you lose your virginity is a personal choice. If you feel extremely guilty and stressed out at the prospect, maybe it’s better to wait. If you’ve decided that this is what you want, though, then take steps to cast the experience in a positive light. Focus on making it an experience that brings you closer to your partner and gives you an opportunity for personal growth.
2. Take a trip to the drugstore. Buying a few items ahead of time can make losing your virginity a little easier. Consider picking up:
Condoms, which both prevent pregnancy and stop the spread of sexually-transmitted infections (STIs). Even if you’re on birth control pills and you trust your partner, using a condom can erase any doubts that might make you anxious in the moment. Don’t worry about buying anything that’s ribbed or extra tricked-out for your first time — just look for the most basic version you can find.
Lubricant, the next-best thing you can buy after condoms because it will ease a lot of the pain and prevent vaginal tearing. If you’re using latex condoms (which most are), do not use an oil-based lubricant, because they can tear the condom. Instead, opt for a silicone- or water-based lube.
3. Discuss your concerns with your partner. Having sex with someone you trust can make your first time a lot less nerve-wracking. Your partner should be considerate of your feelings, focused on making sure you have a good experience, and willing to help you through the process. If your potential partner pressures you too much, or if he or she doesn’t seem very concerned about how having sex might affect you, maybe it’s best to reconsider.
4. Know what your hymen is. The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening, and almost every girl is born with one. It starts to wear away over time due to a variety of activities, such as playing sports, tampon usage, menstruation or normal movement. Here’s what you need to know about it as far as losing your virginity is concerned:
You probably have a partial hymen. If you’re a teenager, chances are that only part of your hymen is left — which is normal, particularly if you’ve already started having periods. If you want to investigate more, you should be able to see your hymen easily with the help of a flashlight and a hand mirror.
If you do bleed, it shouldn’t be very much. Any bleeding you experience after losing your virginity should not be on the same level as having a period. Instead, it should only be light spotting for a few hours after. Some girls won’t bleed at all.
Breaking your hymen shouldn’t be overwhelmingly painful. Actually, if you do experience pain during your first time, it’s probably because you’re not used to the feeling of penetration and you’re clenching up your muscles — not because your hymen has nerve endings (spoiler: it doesn’t). The good news is, although you can’t control your hymen tearing, you can control how relaxed you are.
5. Get acquainted with how you’re angled. If you can help your partner ease into you at the correct angle, you’ll avoid some potentially painful fumbling. Most girls aren’t straight up and down, but instead angled back toward the spine or forward toward the belly button — both directions are normal.
If you regularly use tampons, you’re one step ahead. Take note of how you approach inserting a tampon, and try to recreate that same angle when you’re starting to have penetrative sex.
If you don’t use tampons or haven’t otherwise engaged in any vaginal penetration, it’s probably a good idea to figure it out before you have sex. Try using tampons on your next period, or inserting a finger next time you’re in the shower. Aim toward your lower back; if that doesn’t feel comfortable, shift forward slightly until you find a point that’s comfortable.
While You’re Having Sex
1. Pick a stress-free location. If you’re constantly worried about getting caught, you might not have much fun. Make it easier on yourself and your partner by choosing a time and a location where you can be relatively sure you won’t be disturbed.
Look for privacy, a comfortable surface to lie down on, and a time when you aren’t worried about being on a schedule.
2. Set a relaxing mood. Loosen up by making the atmosphere stress-free. Get rid of any distracting clutter, shut off your phone, and remove anything else that might make you feel nervous or keep you from focusing on your partner.
Try some of the tricks that medical offices, dental offices or beauty salons use. Dim lighting, soft music, and warm room temperature are all meant to make you feel safe and comfortable.
Consider taking some time to groom yourself beforehand so that you feel relaxed in your own skin. Take a quick shower, use scented lotion, style your hair, or do whatever else makes you feel pretty and confident.
3. Take your time. Try to think of sex as a marathon, not a sprint, and focus on enjoying your partner without rushing. Instead of worrying about getting right to it, spend time figuring out what you and your partner both enjoy. Start with kissing, move to making out, and stick to whatever pace feels most comfortable for both of you.
Here’s an extra bonus to doing plenty of foreplay: as you become more aroused, your natural lubrication will increase — making it easier for your partner to enter you painlessly later on.
4. Communicate with your partner. Try not to be afraid to ask for what you need in the moment — he or she should be more than happy to help you. Slowing down, moving gently, or using more lubrication are all things you could suggest to ease the pain of your first time.
5. Do some aftercare (optional). If you’re really struggling with the pain or experiencing bleeding, try to deal with it before it becomes too aggravating. Take an over-the-counter pain reliever (do not take aspirin if you’re under age 19), clean up any blood, and wear a light pad for a few hours.
If you experience excruciating pain or heavy bleeding that lasts for a day or more, see a doctor.
If you feel like tonight is not yet “the night”, don’t be ashamed to postpone it. A caring partner will value how you feel above anything else and will not try to rush you into something you are not ready for. If you change your mind, it is okay to say so!
No one’s first time is absolutely perfect, so leave your expectations at the door. No one will expect you to be a pro.
If you don’t feel very confident about your body, remember that candlelight is always an option, and may feel more romantic and sexier than electric light or complete darkness.
Always use a water based lubricant, not Vaseline, oil, moisturizer, or any kind of greasy substance. This can damage latex based condoms and cause irritation and pain.
Use a condom even if you have another form of birth control if your partner has had sex with someone else before. You can get an STD your very first time. If you don’t use birth control at all, you can get pregnant! Don’t let something like that ruin your experience.
Consider making an appointment with a gynecologist after you become sexually active.
You might get the urge to go to the toilet (be it number one or number two) during sex. It’s normal. It will go away after couple of times you have sex.
Things You’ll Need
A silicone- or water-based lubricant (recommended)
Male or female condoms and another form of birth control (strongly recommended)
10 Easy Steps to Lose your Virginity for Boys and LGBT
It’s time. You know it. You’ve waited long enough. The grown beard and the manly chest fur only prove that you’ve become a man. You’ve matured. You’ve seen `it’ happening on your DVDs. You feel you’re ready.
It’s time that you finally lose your virginity. But you just don’t know how. The internet doesn’t help and neither do your friends who are making fun of you. You need a simple guide to help you with this basic but complicated act. Here are the ten steps that will lead to you having a great time.
10. The Girl – you have to have a girl to have sex. It is basic I know but it’s still a fact. Now sit quietly and give up on the notions of what you want. If she’s tall, intelligent, makes good chapattis and looks after your mother, chance are she’s not going to sleep with you in your current state. Also, no one intelligent, drop dead gorgeous and sober is going to give you a look either. So change your standards. Look for anyone. You will not find girls at bars. It’s a myth. Girls who come to the bars to hang out with other girls are there to have fun and checkout the men. They need not necessarily be wanton sex goddesses. The best way to get that girl is that friend who you never had any sexual feeling towards. Yup, that’s the one. She’s adored you for many years and tolerated your stupidity. It’s highly likely she doesn’t find you repulsive enough to throw a glass on you if you pop the question. Target. Found.
9. The Preparation: Honestly, if you haven’t been laid yet, you need to do a little bit of preparation on yourself. You need to either get thin or get bulky. Preferably both. No woman is attracted to a fat man. Oh, come on, if it was vice versa, would you be? A little bulge is ok. No one expects you to be Hrithik Roshan. But unless you’re tremendously rich or powerful, you have to get rid of that paunch that will hamper the act. And women know. Hit the gym. Go for a jog. And stay off those aloo parathas your mom is making for you in the morning otherwise she will be the only woman in your life for a long time. Use a good deodorant and smell good. Don’t bathe in the deo, splash it lightly. Check for bad breath, oral hygiene is essential. It invariably begins with a kiss.
8. The Conversation: This is something that not many men think about but is crucial to the act. While you may think that, “what conversation?” here is where you can go horribly wrong. One wrong word, and her “mood” is off and you’ve lost the opportunity. Conversation needs to be correct, before, during and after. It is vital that you get her in the proper state of mind, continue until you’ve had a good time, and then sustain it so you can have round two. And the only way you can do that is to Read, Read, Read. Read poems, read sonnets, read a few books on topics she would be interested in. And then you’re finally ready to approach her, in the way you never did before. You have to praise her just enough so she is interested in what more you have to say about her.
Women are suckers for flattery. Once you quote Shakespeare, or remind her that the color of her dress goes beautifully with her eyes, she might want to have a little more to do with you. DO NOT compare her to your mother. It kills it. You must continue the praise in bed, continuously giving her encouragement instead of correcting and afterwards letting her know that she makes your life complete. She knows it’s corny, but she still loves to hear it.
7. The Ignore: This is the most difficult bit. You’ve buffed up your body, you’ve read the books, and you’re ready. But there is a little change in the plan. You have to now ignore her. But this has to be done very surely. You have to know she is interested in you. If she calls you instead of you calling her, or she has taken an interest in you instead of you following her around, you know she’s hooked. But then you have to, just for a little bit, become indifferent. Suddenly you have a project that doesn’t take you away from work for a few days, you don’t return her call for a few hours, you send vague SMSes, and you don’t have time for her. Now you can’t be rude. At no point should you ever snap, be angry or be blunt. You need to be apologetic for your time being taken away from her but you “just can’t help it.” You should not do this for too long as she will get bored and find someone else. It needs to be for just a week or so once you know she is hooked and waiting. The trap is set.
6. The Present: Oh yes, there needs to be a present. It has to show you’ve apologized for your bad behavior of not meeting her for a week and it acts as something that you’re grateful she’s in your life. You need to floor her. While diamonds may be the ideal thing a woman wants and loves, maybe some flowers and a gift package from Body Shop would be a better deal on the first date. But don’t forget to get her something otherwise she’ll think you’re a cheap, pompous man who has ignored her and doesn’t deserve her royal being.
5. The Date: A perfect date is a combination of two things, the right place, and the right mood. If your woman is an adventurous variety, a bike ride to a secluded spot with a picnic basket of wine, and light snacks might be appropriate. If she is the high maintenance kind, she might prefer a fancy new restaurant that has been in the news for the last month or so where she can be seen and a place where you can compliment her even more. If she is the romantic but down to earth kind, a drive to the furthest place from town while you chat in the car and take her to her favorite restaurant for her favorite meal might be just the thing that hits the spot. Research into this would be a good idea for you. Do not ask her. Observe her for a few months and read up about her sun sign!
4. The Location: There are exciting stories out there, of how men have had wild sex in cars, in the jungles, in bathrooms of a mall and other such absurd locations. But rest assured, these are only urban legends. Public places might happen later in life, but they are never the places where you lose your virginity. The good old bedroom, with a stable bed in an empty house has been proved by a staggering 85% of the population to be the ideal place. You need to find one.
While you still live with your parents, it’s not ideal to tell the woman to keep quiet while you sneak her in hoping your father doesn’t see your eagerness in the middle of the night. It is not ideal either for you to suggest that you go back to her place. That could kill the mood as well if she thinks you’re cheap. Ask a friend who lives by himself to go to a hotel room for a night. You can pay. You cannot take the girl to a hotel room since she will think you had it planned and subsequently an idea that you think she’s “sleazy.” It’s better to have your friend’s place cleaned up and say casually, “I was planning to stay with a friend tonight so maybe you can come and have a cup of coffee so I can have the pleasure of your conversation a little more.” Or something to that effect!
3. The Setting: On a date, you need to be able to give her just enough alcohol that she’s in her senses and mildly intoxicated. A little too much and she will go to sleep and you will be dragging her to your friends place over your shoulder and taking care of her nausea instead of her horniness. The alcohol should continue once you’re back. Even if she insists on coffee, pour a lot of alcohol into it and make it an “Irish” one. Make sure there are only a few table lamps on instead of the top tube light. The lighting could take away from the mood, the intoxication, and the conversation. So be careful that it is soft, dim, and just right.
2. The Foreplay: All right. Here we go. The moment has come. You have to start taking things a little slow. Preferably, don’t make the first move. If you’ve done all the correct things, she will make a move first. But if she doesn’t and is still felling shy, you move in close and look into her eyes. That’s when you have to figure out if she is into you or not. Do not grab her hair and kiss her. The first time is not about being rough or violent. It’s about the sensuality of the feeling. If she kisses you back, you’re on track and you can continue with the act of foreplay, gently touching and kissing all the spots around her neck, her back, her fingertips. She will tell you where and how. Keep complimenting her.
1. Losing Your Virginity: Be “careful.” For all your imagination and great prowess, this will probably take only up to two minutes. But enjoy it. Do not be tentative. Take charge. Do not call out any dirty words. Behave normally. Listen to her and listen to her body. And you will remember it. You will remember it because you took the effort that made this moment so special. You will remember her. And after it’s over, be sure to compliment her and hold her close and talk about how special it was for you. Because you know in your heart, it will be. Best of luck!
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